Here’s a question people often email me about each stage of childbirth:
How do I know my stage of childbirth when I am in labor?
OK, you know I’m not a doctor, but here’s what I have learned from reading a million books on pregnancy and childbirth. There are three stages of childbirth. Of course each stage of childbirth varies from woman to woman so your experience might be completely different.
The First stage of childbirth
The first stage of childbirth is when your cervix dilates from 0 to 10 centimetres. This is the longest and hardest stage of childbirth. It can last from 5 hours to 24 hours. For my first birth this stage of childbirth lasted about 10 hours.
The Second stage of childbirth
The second stage of childbirth is when you are pushing the baby out. With your first baby, this can last for one or two hours, or possibly longer. For me, with my first baby, this stage of childbirth was about 2 hours. With my third baby, it was only a few pushes.
The Third stage of childbirth
And the third stage of childbirth is after the baby is born, when you deliver the placenta. Usually you are so distracted by your new baby in your arms that you don’t notice this stage of childbirth very much. This is not uncomfortable.
Note: The first stage of childbirth can really be divided into three more sub-stages, in my opinion.
Going from 1 to 3 centimeters is, for many women, (but not me!) relatively pain-free and just feels like bad cramps.
For most women, going from 4 to 8 centimeters is the very difficult stage of childbirth, where you really need a great support person to help you if you are having a natural childbirth. See my article What would I do without my Doula? for more information on the benefits of continuous labor support.
The third sub-stage of childbirth is “Transition” (from 8 to 10 cm) – the point where you start to feel that you really can’t go on. That is completely normal – everyone feels that. And remind yourself that is a good thing because it means you are almost fully dilated.
As you may know, I have three kids and I had three natural births. All three experiences were completely different! And each stage of childbirth was different too. The most important thing throughout all three experiences was that my husband was such a great support to me.
Here’s a funny story that happened during the first stage of childbirth for our third child Trey.
We didn’t have a doula the third time (because we couldn’t find one where we lived that would do it for under $600). I also truly believed that I would be able to handle it without a doula. But as my due date approached, I started feeling nervous about going it “alone.” So I wrote down on a piece of paper all the things I wanted my husband to say to me, such as:
- You’re doing so beautifully
- I’m so proud of you
- Your body is so amazing
- Yes, you CAN do it, you ARE doing it
- I think you’re in Transition now
- Not much longer now
- Just do ONE contraction at a time
- Your body will only give you what you can handle
- There is nothing to worry about – everything is going exactly as it should
So I gave this list to my husband and the funniest thing is that when I was in labor (the end of the first stage of labor), he was saying all these things and I (honest to God) was thinking “Oh what a great guy my husband is because I had completely forgotten that I wrote down what he should say!
Later on, after I had delivered Trey, the nurse said to me, “Thank you for the privilege of being here for your son’s birth. I have never, ever seen a husband that was so incredible and so amazingly supportive!”
I started laughing my head off because it wasn’t until then that I realized I had told him exactly what to say!
Wishing you all the best in your labor and childbirth!
